Monday, December 21, 2009

Better off Dead

Better off Dead

“And then, of course, it jams.”

“Well, you know, for this very reason I like to know what I am getting into.”

“I know, but man, do I love how she stretches every morning, lithe, like a sleek cat. I told her from the beginning I was going to someday disappoint her.”

“I guess she doesn’t believe in that ‘forgive and forget’, she went straight for wanting you dead.”

“Surprisingly she is amazingly low maintenance, in a classic sense anyway.”

“I have heard and seen some amazing shit, man, but this I’ve gotta to tell you, this freaks me out.”

“You should have seen her. She was so hot. Standing there. Still as a statue. My breathe caught. I knew in that moment she was the girl I was going to marry.”

“She wanted you dead.”

“If she wanted me dead, she would have tested the gun, before she tried to fire it at me, across a crowded bar.”

“Tested it how? Shoot it into a pillow or the garbage can in the subway on the way to the bar.”

“She was dressed in a rocking mini skirt, purple fishnets and her black latex mini trench coat. Legs up to here, in her knee high black laxtex boots.”

“So since she was dress like the star of sci-fi porno, you think that means she would have tested out the gun, before she showed up, dressed to the nines to kill you?”

“Yeah, not only is she the sharpest dressed woman I know, she is the smartest too.”

“I know I’ve said this before, but you really need to rethink this. You bailed her out, that is enough. No need to buy her a ring.”

“All ready done.”

“I hope to God this never happens to me.”

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